Billed as the East Bay Melee, the Oakland Outlaws take on the Berkeley Resistance at 8 p.m. this Saturday at the Craneway Pavillion in Richmond.

Didn't know Oakland has a roller derby team? Then you might not know the difference between a jammer and a pivot, or the importance of a carefully crafted, saucy and puny nickname.

Not to fear ... Oakland Local is here to help.

The game

Per the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girl's site, roller derby is about "Short Skirts and Shorter Fuses."

The game is played on a round, flat track. Each team has five players on the track at a time:

• Pivot (striped helmet): One per team, pivots lead the pack and set the pace.
• Blockers (blank helmet): Three blockers from each team try to prevent the other team's jammer from passing.
• Jammer (star helmet): The only player that scores points, she scores points for passing blockers.

When the first whistle blows, the first four players on each team (pivot and blockers) take off around the track. On the second whistle, the jammers take off. The jam has begun.

When one jammer passes the other, she becomes the "lead jammer" and is the only person that can score. She scores by catching up to the pack and passing the other team's blockers. The other team's blockers try to stay ahead of the jammer (while helping their own jammer). The lead jammer can score up to three points each time she passes the pack (one for each opposing blocker).

The lead jammer also decides how long the jam should last. Each jam is stopped after two minutes, but the lead jammer can end the jam early put putting her hands on her hips.

After the jam ends, the players line up to start again. Whoever has the most points at the end wins.

The prediction

Berkeley trounced the KillaBytes (the Silicon Valley team) 125-84 in early February, and this is the first game of 2011 for Oakland. But this is Oakland Local, and Oakland kicks ass, so I call it for the Outlaws by 10.

The names

The Oakland Outlaws roster is a smorgasbord of delightful and deadly puns.

Bobkat, Bonnie Doom, Chesty Gillespie, Dolly Deathrow Pardon, Fatal Dreidel, Hazel-Raw, Huck Sinn, Ivy Profane, Jack Dup, Jinjur'n Wry, Lethally Blond, Murderyn Monroe, P.B. Arson, Penny McSquish, Polly Puredread, Shivas Regal, Tippa D. Iceberg. Plus captains Minnie Peril and Frank n Hurter.

Choosing a nickname is serious business in roller derby (this author's favorite is Richmond Wrecking Belle's Astronaughty). Once a player adopts a moniker, the name is registered on a national database and never given to another player (just like retired ball player numbers and deadly hurricane names). There's only one Kutya Cackoff, and she plays in Richmond.

The event

Hell's Angels this is not. Sure, after seeing Lethally Blonde slam into Murderyn Monroe, you'll be careful not to spill your beer on a derby girl. But given the nature of the event, you may be surprised by the number of children present. In fact, the audience as a whole is remarkably pleasant and child-friendly. Go figure.

Friendly or not, you still want to get there early to grab a rink-side seat. The place fills up quickly.

For Saturday's game, doors open at 6 p.m. and the bout starts at 8 p.m. Tickets are $13 in advance and $15 at the door.

A taco truck will be on hand, as well as a variety of baked goods and other food for sale inside. PBR, Barefoot Bubbly and Makers Mark will be available for those over 21, as well as more family-friendly beverage fare for everyone.

Plenty of parking is available at the Craneway Pavilion. The AC Transit 74 runs between the Pavilion and the Richmond BART station.

Need more derby? There's a whole season with games around the Bay, plus the Bay Area All Stars versus regional and national teams (such as the Rocky Mountain Roller Girls) on May 21.