Darlene C Alvarez
Darlene C Alvarez moved to Oakland from San Francisco over twenty years ago and lived all around Oakland before making her home in the Lake Merritt area with her husband and two daughters.
Alvarez says her poetry is influenced by living in Oakland's culturally diverse neighborhoods. She says "I used to think it would be a much more harmonious existence if everyone were the same. I’ve since matured in my thinking and now subscribe to the belief that differences are beautiful. Instead of trying to change people or things, we should accept and embrace each other’s unique qualities. If anyplace is unique, it is Oakland!"
Alvarez says she started writing poems as a sort of therapy. "I wanted to write poems that were accessible and not so flowery that the reader becomes frustrated or feels they have to dissect each word trying to find meaning. For me, if someone reads my poetry and has a physical or emotional reaction (laughter, sadness, confusion, even disgust!) then I feel the poem has done its job, albeit in a creative, concise, and, hopefully, entertaining way."
Alvarez's first collection of poetry, The Quiet Child, explored themes such as love, parenthood, friendship, nostalgia, imperfection, mortality and frustration with complacency. One of her poems was named Best Love Poem by The California Aggie, UC Davis’ newspaper.
She says that one of favorite things to do is walk around Lake Merritt with my family then enjoying an ice cream on our front steps.
Crawl
I couldn’t pay
So they
Cut off the cable
Could I roll up into a ball, crawl under the table?
Let me open the door
They’ve come to take more
They go, “Which one is yours? Point it out if you can.”
Instead of my blue car, though, I showed them my neighbor’s white van
I say, “Wait, on second thought, no!
I might just need that, you know
I might need a place to stay
How much do you need so you can go away?”
The landlord’s fed up with my monthly excuses
Quickly, I think of something I hope that amuses
He says, “Pay me – do what you have to. Can’t you take out a loan?”
I tell him, “I can’t call nobody, ‘cause they’ve cut off my phone!”
I’ll write everyone back and promise eventual payment
A challenge though since I’ve got no employment
Downsize, right-size, furlough, layoff - however you categorize
Reflection of a fallen hero looks back at me in my children’s eyes
Let me open the door
But they can’t take. No more.
I go, “Is there anything left? Point it out if you can.”
To where, whom can I turn ‘cause I could really use a hand
Could I roll up into a ball, crawl under the table?
Hoping for a happy ending to this fable
I pray
Sitting on my lazy ass all day
Filtered
(from The Quiet Child)
His cheeks shine with the clear gloss of tears
Like a badge of honor for his ordeal
His mouth is stretched from ear to ear
But it’s no grin
As he whimpers and groans
His ivory teeth gleam against his ebony skin
Much like they did weeks before
When he and some friends went swimming in
a dark, murky pond
He took care not to swallow for his mother
had warned him
Still his ears got waterlogged and droplets
seeped into his wide nose
He recalls wailing in joy as he emerged,
refreshed
He is making a noise again as he writhes in the
Excruciating sensation
As they extract the serpentine consequence
It Is Time
(from The Quiet Child)
This is about the time
I seek divine intervention
This is about the moment
I clasp my hands in prayer
This is about time.
This is about the time
I feel a metamorphosis commence
This is about the moment
I feel the twinge of nervousness
It is about time.
This is about time
That I’m squandering
Unbeknownst to me
Pointed out to me indirectly
But the message comes loud and clearly
This is about the time
I’m to make a life-altering decision
This is about the moment
I feel a twinge of apprehension
This is the right time.
This is the right time
I must write a new chapter
This is the right moment
I recognize what I’m going after
It is time.
Preservation
(from The Quiet Child)
Surely the dead man’s body
Relishes how the ridges in
Her fingertip comb the superfine hairs
On his cinnamon skin
Misses the supple, malleable flesh
Through which you can hear
The gentle hum of warm crimson blood
As it voyages through the intricate network
That runs the length
Recalls the uncomfortable yet pleasing
Sensation of
Uncontrollable fluids spilling
The condensation from the heat of bodies
(in constant motion)
Spontaneous, deliberate, improvisation
Remembers clothed in nothing but
Otherworldly elements
He’s now one with
Sadly, only physically
Mourns his inability to seemingly float
With feet firmly planted
Filling his lungs
With a substance
He has never seen before
But unconditionally trust
Will sustain him
The feeling
The network
The process
The sensation.
Routine
(from The Quiet Child)
I get up every morning reluctantly painfully
I curse this blasted routine that rules me
But I forget to thank God for letting me stay today
I make some coffee and stir in the sugar
Who put the empty carton of creamer back in there?
I forget about the little boy who has to walk half a mile
To fetch a bucket of water
I put on my perfectly coordinated outfit
Seems the dryer ate my last pair of socks
But I forget the little girl risking shards
As she makes her way to the corner store
I sprint to catch my bus before he closes the door
Standing, I roll my eyes as I ride with my face
Pressed against the windshield
But I forget the little boy walking to school
Before dawn, fearing ghosts
At the end of the day, I get ready for bed
Dreading the routine which waits for me in the morning
But I remember to thank God
For this comfortable monotony
Synthetic Happy Place
(from The Quiet Child)
Vicodin coursing through my veins
Brings me to my happy place
I’m suspended in air, painless
Like a drop of oil in a water vase
Alcohol marinating my insides
Brings me to a tingly place
I transcend the ugly, I’m numb
Like my legs after a marathon race
White-out wafting up my nostrils
Brings me to a higher place
I block out the bad, see only good
Like my mistakes magically erased
Nicotine floating in my lungs
Brings me to a calmer place
I lower my blood pressure, lose weight
Like a diet pill with better taste
Lovin’ happening in the room
Brings me to a soothing place
I undulate from the inside out
Like a baritone projecting the bass…
Then and Now
(previously published in Teen-Age Magazine)
Click,
I turn the TV on
Lives taken have risen
To more than 1,000
The newsman says.
I ask, “How could that be? There is no war.”
Why then, do the aircrafts
Just fall out from the sky?
Were they just flying too high?
Mr. President, I ask you
“Did you make a hole-in-one?
While you send thousands of our people
And watch…
And hope to say, “We won.”
The city council calls a meeting
We hear, “Beautify the neighborhoods.”
The workers hear, “Clean up the bloody sidewalks
and sweep away the shells.”
Mr. Baseball player hits a homer
A couple million all the way to the bank
Ms. Education molds minds of the future
A bronze plaque hangs on the wall
A child of six
Pays fare of three quarters and a dime
While I, adult,
Pay the same for mine
I won’t close my eyes
And pretend they aren’t there
Someday I’ll ask,
“Where’s war?”
And they’ll say, “Nowhere.”
Someday. Somewhere.
In addition to The Quiet Child Alvarez has published a picture book for children called, Drink Your Pasta, Eat Your Milk!, which helps to reassure young children (in a fun and rhyming way) that it’s OK to make mistakes because adults make them, too, and there is always a lesson to learn from them.
She is currently working on another children’s book that addresses a not-so-common, but wonderfully named, fear: koumpounophobia, the fear of buttons.