In case you don't know: the steampunk movement is about glorifying all things entwined with Victorian/Edwardian science fiction. Playing on the ideals of such writers as H.G. Wells and Jules Verne, steampunk enthusiasts like to marvel in wonderment of what it would be like if 19th century technology were created with the insight of 2010. Steampunks also tend to geek out over Ren-Faire-esque role-playing of old-timey characters, while they gather amongst their own and spout shaky Victorian accents.

So grab your goggles and large black top hat, put on that corset and those old timey clothes, because it's time to gather with the steampunks at the Nova Albion Steam Punk Expo held in Emeryville. 

In the parking lot of the Hilton Garden Inn, steampunk fanfare is well underway. Though many look like they might have arrived in a rocket ship contraption built by old timey silent film director Georges Méliès as seen in his film, A Trip to the Moon, or perhaps a hot air balloon as in Around the World in 80 Days, most steampunks have arrived in such vehicles as new Hondas which grace the capacity parking lot.--manufactured clearly in this modern age. Come on steampunks, couldn’t you have at least ridden in on a steam powered motorcycle—prominently on display? Or arrive in true Victorian fashion- in a horseless carriage?

"Like so many steam cars, it's authentic which means it's not operational," explains the top hat clad gizmocrat who partook in this vehicle’s assemblage. 

A sea of old timey dressed folks marvel at a sea of low-tech meets high-tech innovations like the large fire spitting armored snail. Some, who look like they be school chums with the Amazing Captain Nemo, take turns riding around on the back of a metal beetle that looks like it was created from the past's version of the future. 

"Air mail delivery for Emily Michael. Air mail delivery for Emily Michael." announces a man in knickers, hand-delivering a telegram. (He stays in character with a Victorian accent that would make any children's theater group proud.) 

It’s a carnival-like atmosphere as a constructed version of a miniature old-timey trolley encircles the perimeter serenading us with accordion music, enthralling a man who bears a striking resemblance to a character out of Dr. Who, and wears a black top hat with large light bulbs on top.

Like most steampunks, it’s not all about bad Victorian accents and costumes; it's also about tinkering around with old obsolete gadgetry--usually involving old gauges and tubes—and trying to make something new in a 19^th century perception of the future. 

"This allows me to communicate with my airship that we're out of crumpets," a goggled man says about the Sterling engine he built. “Air heats up, cools down and contracts,” he explains about the operation.

"I do say it's marvelous!" a man in coattails exclaims at the operation of a copper pipe organ that's part of the calliope portion of a larger musical instrument called The Pandemonium. "Splendid!" he says while wringing his hands. With a bow: "Thanks you for your time, sir!"

"What year did this start?" I ask the woman in charge of the expo who is dressed like a school marm, after she informs me roughly 1,200 people attended the expo. 

"This is the between the years 1850 and 1890." she replies. 

"No, I mean what year did the expo start?" 

"Oh, 2008."

Inside the cramped exhibition room, goggled couples shop for all their old-timey steampunk clothing needs: corsets, walking canes, top hats and clawed hand accessories. I note a lot of guys with pipes and gloves with the fingers cut out while I pass a couple wearing Charlie Chaplin hats. This is pretty darn much the whitest group of people known to humanity. Women fawn over each other’s outfits: "Darling! I love your bustle."

“It’s called 20,000 Legions of Doom,” a large man, beneath a hat made of tin, shares with his peers with an accent that takes me a few beats to realize is British.

If you were  Phileas Fogg and needed to be outfitted for an Around the World in 80 Days sojourn, this is the place to go. A lot of items are reminiscent of the Will Smith vehicle, The Wild, Wild West. Steampunks seem to enjoy their futuristic guns and wrist-shooting crossbow.  I find it a good thing that the weaponry policy at the steampunk expo is, “Rayguns, blasters, and other costume weaponry MUST be non-functional.” Good thing: I’d hate to have someone go 19th century postal.

“How do all the guns fit into steampunk?” I ask a woman whose headdress looks straight from the movie City of Lost Children. 

“Steampunk also has a time travel element.” She then displays a squirt gun transformed into a death ray of tomorrow. “I’m into recycling old stuff to make them new—it’s all about reusing stuff that you no longer have a use for. ” She then point to her headwear comprised of tubes and coils. "This is my antenna," she reveals.

The 14th floor of the Hilton is where steampunk seminars are held. It's interesting riding a cramped elevator with a group of people who stay in accented Victorian characters:

"11 please." 

"19 if you should be so kind." 

"Going up? Splendid!" 

"This is my special medicinal brew," a man proclaims about the test tube viles of brown, murky liquid attached to his hat. "It's desired to lubricate."

He offers me some of the murky liquid but I politely decline—I don’t want to have an Alice in Wonderland experience where I wake up in a strange place dressed like the Artful Dodger.—infected with a bad case of typhus.

Inside a conference room with a sign that reads, “Salon Discussion and Intellectual Debate,” a panel discussion takes place in front of roughly 100 people about the essence of the steampunk culture. The group listens intently; some resting their arms on their large swords.

“You will dress like this when it’s appropriate and it will give you. pleasure--but not everyday. You don’t want to explain to Bob in accounting why you are wearing goggles.”

Big steampunk laughs.

A school marm-dressed woman on the panel explains the philosophy of their 19^th century antics in some sort of accent: “Steampunk is about doing it over again, but doing it right—what we’ve learned in the past and project it forward to bring back the desire and quality of society.”

“Let’s not forget it wasn’t all good times,” pipes in a normal dressed man on the panel-- raining on her Victorian parade. “We embrace the elements of romanticism but we might be ignoring the realities—the racism of colonialism which it was built.” He adds, “I see a lot of sky pirates but I don’t see repressed and indigenous people. It was not a perfect time!”

What?! This is an actual debate? Steampunk is about putting on old-timey clothes and having a fun time. Would he get angry if no one at a Renaissance faire contracted the plague or Black Death?

As the panel sort of loses focus, with each member trying to be a big Mr. Smarty Pants and using big words, my interest wanes as I go back to looking at cool old-timey inventions. I take in a faux time machine, a steam powered bass, and more wrist crossbows.

"This time machine works in real time," explains a man dressed like an old West casino dealer, about his gizmo with flashing lights, sprockets and wheels. ."It used to be a table." If you were in a trippy world and you came across this thing, you might think it actually works.  He points to his friend on the steam bass. "We're old model makers from the `70's. We're taking junk and making it work."