In the event-vending world we have a saying for the “first” sale of the event made – “our cherry has been popped.” 

Well, as a vendor, in addition to being a presenter at FemmeCon 2010 held in Oakland this past weekend, I was honored to have my vending “cherry popped” by none other than Kate Bornstein, herself! 

As Bornstein strolled by our table and then stopped, caressing many of our cards in a way a mother soothes a sleeping newborn, she commented without looking up that the designs were simply gorgeous and purchased two of them.

The reason this sticks out for me is because Bornstein is a trans-woman who came out during a time when being “different” often landed you in situations of turmoil based on an un-accepting society.  The author of “Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women & the Rest of Us,” her books are being taught in more than 120 colleges and universities and she was the keynote speaker for Saturday’s sessions at this year’s Femme Conference in Oakland.

In her keynote address, Bornstein touched on many of these “hairpin” situations, from being a “beta-wolf” to a stout member of Scientology and how those dynamics created conflict in her life as she set out to define herself based on her idea of who she is. She went on to state that it was always her “femme” community who came to her rescue. 

That sentiment was the prevailing feeling circulating throughout FemmeCon 2010 – camaraderie amongst the femme element of the LGBTQA community. The workshops presented were as diverse as women attending, many coming as from as far as Canada and all points global. The workshop sessions were intense, as many of the participants felt comfortable enough to share their stories and to gain knowledge and tools to better traverse the societal landscape of being a queer femme in the world.

As I looked out onto 10th Street, I saw women peppering the sidewalks, sitting in smaller groups to go over feedback of the attended session, to exchange contact information and to just be in the energy of other like-minded women. It also was interesting to hear the inquisitive comments of event goers of the Art & Soul festival who happened to pass through the lobby exclaim that they had never heard of “femme” let alone a conference embracing all things feminine – many even stopped by the table to purchase items from vendors presents … now that’s ambassadorship at its best!

As participants of my workshop left the session, I inquired about how the conference was going for them and all replied it was one of the best ways to spend a weekend. They left with newfound energy, a sense of purpose and tools to implement the changes they want to see in the world.  I think any conference organizer would be pleased to hear such feedback.