It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here, but, fuck it. Two years later, might as well keep going.

A little update: Since I last posted here, I’ve started bartending at Penrose (3311 Grand Avenue) and continue to run my Instagram account, @oaklandalcohol. I’ve been making cocktails, drinking cocktails, writing for the East Bay Express, and recently won the CUESA summer series event. I’m still running my blog Fuck Feast, but as I veer away from sexual tyranny and into a more professional realm of my life, I started to feel like it was time to revive Oakland Alcohol a little bit, but with a different bent. Oakland Alcohol: now a blog about my drinking adventures in Oakland, California, and not a blog that reviews bars and cocktails because that’s too dry and I’m not getting paid to do this.

So, last night. Four bars: Longitude, Drexl, Starline and Legionnaire. Wow, so many bars have opened up in Oakland in the last two years. It’s hard to keep up, really, but I manage to find the time and money to go to most of them, as well as all the old standards. I hadn’t been to Longitude since it opened, mostly because the theme of this bar isn’t (as I learned last night) “tiki” but, rather, the English colonization of Africa with traditional tiki drinks. I always thought this theme was a little awkward because, um, well, black lives matter, and this is Oakland, and fuck gentrification. So I hadn’t been here in the two years since it opened. Also, I don’t really like drinking tiki drinks because they’re so sweet and as a professional, it’s usually my burden to have to be able to drink for six to ten hours straight, so starting at a tiki bar – well, I knew I wasn’t going to make it past midnight. (I didn’t.)

Mondays at Longitude is all day happy hour, which on the menu consists of a few snacks and four tiki drinks. I had the shrunken skull, which was (true to form) sweet and slow sipping. At $8 a pop on happy hour, it made sense to get some bang for my buck and stick to the cheap drinks despite the fact that sparkling wine is my go to 6pm kick off IMG_4578drink. My drinking companions ordered the pupu platter, which is always a source of childish, middle school poop jokes, but, hey, some jokes never grow old. The pupu platter was likewise an homage to the array of fried foods that originated at Trader Vic’s (currently in Emeryville), and I didn’t really eat much of that either because it was 6pm! I had a lot more bars on the hit list and didn’t want to succumb to the stupor of drinking sugar laden drinks and scarfing down fried foods.

We made a move from there to Drexl, which, if you read my East Bay Express best of picks a few weeks back, is an excellent Monday choice because Alex and John Smith tend bar there on Mondays. This means that you can mosey up to the bar and say something vague about a drink you want, such as, “I’ve been drinking a lot of vespers lately” or “make me something 80′s.” We said, “make me something 80′s” to John, and he made us the appropriately named dealer’s choice drink “Harvey Wall-bellini” which had galliano, gin, tonic water, strega, spiced pear liqueur and a few other things that made it taste like, well, a Harvey Wallbanger meets a bellini. Right on the money, boys. There’s also a new prickly pear spirit from Ventura, California, that they’re carrying there, which tastes like, well, prickly pears and is quite excellent.

Then from Drexl to Starline, which is probably my favorite new bar in Oakland because of the following reasons: 1) thank you for staffing your bar with women, people of color, and LGBTQ people 2) I like their sparkling wine 3) IMG_4582thank you for hosting events geared towards women, people of color and the LGBTQ community 4) good cocktails 5) there are a lot of hot people there and not a lot of gentros. This evening’s visit to Starline was, per usual, a lot of fun because the Shrimp Pimp fried coconut shrimp pop up was hanging out there, Ambreezy was DJing (also one of my EBX picks), and much to my pleasant surprise there was a poetry reading by Raven McGill wherein she read funny yet vulnerable poems about being a woman of color on Tinder, something I find highly relatable. I got pretty drunk on sparkling wine.

Afterwards, we hoofed it down the block to Legionnaire to my favorite Monday night party: Motown Mondays. Over the past few years, Motown Monday has become the regular setting for high tone fuckery mostly because Motown Monday (which was also one of my EBX picks) is an excellent place for industry people and also 24 hour scum bag downtown Oakland party people to get fucking wrecked on a Monday night without it feeling like a Monday night. Definitely started and ruined some relationships here. So I had a couple shots of $5 fernet, wiggled my ass on the dance floor, and called it a night at 11pm because I’m almost 30, guys, there was no way I was going to start drinking at 6pm and make it all the way to last call without totally ruining my social reputation and losing all my money and hating myself the next day. Five hours of heavy drinking on an empty stomach is the best that you can ask for from me, so, until next time, drink responsibly 🙂

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